Go Home
by PunkZinn
Summary: A peek into my impresion of the world of lonely angst Giles must deal with.
1. Default Chapter

Go Home  
by PunkZinn  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them.  
  
Summery: Short and Gilesish. Not too much. R&R.  
  
"Willow?" Giles laid his hand on her shoulder. "Willow, wake up."  
  
Willow sat up and pushed her laptop away.  
  
"It's late, Willow, you should go home and get some rest."  
  
"I'm ok, I think we're on the verge of finding that protection spell for Buffy."  
  
"I'm ok for tonight, Will," said Buffy from the door where she was getting her coat on. "Besides you were drooling on your keyboard."  
  
Willow grabbed her laptop and Giles smiled. "I'll give you girls a ride home," he said, "Just give me a minute to lock up."  
  
"We're ok, Giles, thanks," said Buffy.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yah, goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight, Giles," Willow grabbed her coat and hurried out the door after Buffy, laptop in tow. The door closed behind her with a heavy thud.  
  
"Goodnight, Willow," said Giles. He sat down in the nearest chair and ran a hand through his hair exhausted. He glanced around the dim shop. With the girls gone it was dreary and without laughter or even a hint of cheer.  
  
"Go home you old man," he said to himself and sighed.  
  



	2. scotch and staircases

The half empty bottle of scotch sat amongst the rare tomes scattered across Giles' coffee table. He sat on the couch, pen to the paper of his watcher's journal, but unmoving.   
  
"Damn," he said as he slammed the book shut and put it on the table nearly toppling the scotch. Giles caught it just in time, considered it for a moment, and brought the bottle to his dry lips.  
  
Some nights being a watcher didn't matter. Some nights the only thing left to think about, to feel, was emptiness. He sat in his empty house, giving up on an empty page, and filling his empty stomach with booze.  
  
"All is darkness," he mumbled to himself as he gazed at the books full of secret evils. He sighed and capped the bottle. He stood stretching, set it down, and headed for the stairs.  
  
The stairs to his bedroom were dark and uninviting. They were every night.   
  
As he reached his destination and lay down his thoughts drifted into the memories of the day. The way Willow had looked asleep at her computer made him smile. At home in his empty house he let himself imagine the family it should hold within its walls. He daydreamed how they should have truly been his family and it would have been all right to give his heart to them, to love them without reserve.   
  
In the end reality always came crashing down around him and he was still alone but meantime, while he slept, he could live a sunnier life with the family he wanted, if only in dreams.   
  
And, as he finally drifted off to sleep, Giles whispered softly to himself his hope and direction, "Go home you old man." 


	3. dreaming

The sunshine flooded golden in the garden beyond the open kitchen door. Laughter filtered with the breeze through the windows. Willow sang softly to herself as she washed carrots for a salad.   
  
Buffy and Xander came in through the kitchen door and usurped the sink to wash the dirt off their hands from pulling weeds in the flower beds.   
  
Giles sat at the kitchen table writing in a journal, HIS journal. He smiled at them as his pen moved with fluidity across the page. Willow smiled back, walked over, and threw her arms around his shoulders in a warm hug.  
  
Giles chuckled, "Now what was that for?"  
  
"Can't a daughter-", Willow started to say, but she was cut off as the sky suddenly filled with darkness. Buffy and Xander stopped their joking and Buffy turned to the window quickly, her long blonde hair swinging behind her slowly.   
  
"It's the end," she said softly.  
  
Giles stood up slowly and laid the journal gently on the table.   
  
The young people drew closer to him and he laid a hand on Xander's shoulder. "Don't be frightened, Xander," he said as the smell of sulfur filled the air.  
  
An inhuman laugh came from the garden that had been so full of light only moments earlier. Angelus swaggered in the open door uninvited. His lips and chin were covered in dark blood.  
  
"The moon is bleeding, Rupert!" he shouted. "She's dieing for me tonight!"  
  
Giles could not stop him as he reached out and grabbed Willow by her hair and pulled her to him. "The moon bleeds," he whispered just before sinking his teeth into the flesh of her neck.  
  
She did not cry out but for as long as she was conscious her eyes were locked on Giles.   
  
Angelus killed Buffy and Xander in the same way, all the while Giles stood powerless. When three, still warm, bodies lay on the floor...  
  
Giles woke up with a sob trapped in his chest. He felt sick, the images from his nightmare still fresh in his mind.  
  
"Oh Gods," he said as he ran his hand through his hair and reached out with the other for his glasses. 


	4. willow

Try all he might, Giles could not escape the vivid memory of his nightmare. He mechanically muddled through his workday, canceled training with Buffy, and rather rudely turned down an offer from Willow to help him research further protection spells on the net. All he wanted to do was go home, be alone for a while to try and figure out what was going on in his head.  
  
His peculiar behavior was unnoticed by Buffy who was more than happy to get a night off, but Willow noticed. She'd spent three hours helping clean out the store room and she couldn't help but notice his sighs and distant stares. She'd nearly been brave enough to ask what was wrong a few times but she feared he'd dismiss her concern and hurt her feelings. She thought his blowing off her offer to research plenty bad enough.  
  
Willow just couldn't understand why he didn't see all the extra time and effort she put in around the Magic Box. She gave up a lot of her spare time to help him out. She was glad to do it but it would have been nice to have her concern reciprocated.   
  
She couldn't get these thoughts out of her head that night as she tried to study. Her mind couldn't stay on pre-colonial South America to save her life. Finally she'd had enough. She put on her resolve face and headed out towards Giles' determined to find out what the hell was going on. 


End file.
